True Adventures - North Atlantic Ocean

I'm fascinated by communication.  The written word in all its forms - articles, poems, novels - I've even found scraps of paper on the ground and opened them up.  Some were love notes, some bits of homework.  Each made me wonder about the person that wrote it:  Who were they?  What did they look like?  Why did they choose THAT word?  I wondered why it was crumpled up and thrown away.  Was it discarded because of sadness, frustration, or because they suddenly felt free of the thing and wanted to demonstrate that freedom through the act of crushing and leaving it?

I like things that make me wonder.

Music does that to me.

It is so often a cryptic, yet lilting riddle.  So much of the lyrics you hear in music are snippets.  Like overhearing bits of conversation blown to you in the wind.

And I sit and wonder what they meant by that.

I remember listening to the Ben Folds album 'Way to Normal', and thinking afterward:  "I wonder if Ben got divorced?"

Turns out, he had.

Most recently, I'm wondering about this guy and what drove him when he wrote this song:



Why the North Atlantic Ocean?  Who does he want back?  And does he really want them back, or does he feel left behind.  Would they have been happier back with him, or is that selfish of him and does he just have that sense you sometimes get when you know people have moved along and are pursuing their dreams?  And what happens tonight?  What is the truth he is talking about?  Is it some dark secret or is it something more simple - the truth about himself or the situation he's faced with?

There are so many stories you could conjure by just listening to stuff like this and allowing your mind to wander and wonder.

Either way, I love music as a form of communication.  It is compelling in a way that words alone seldom are.

Let me ask you - what songs sit atop YOUR list of favourites and why?  What is it in them that really speaks to you?  Why do they identify with you so strongly that they rate amongst your favourites?

Please take a moment and tell me - I really want to know.

Best,

Atlas

The General Election Turmoil and the Polls

Having spent a lot of time over the last year performing as a mental magician in Nottingham, I have met a lot of people recently.  I'll drive to and from gigs and I'll often listen to the radio as I travel.

As the recent general election in Britain loomed, one thing was certain.  This was going to be yet another hung parliament.  Every pundit agreed on that.  There were poll leads for one party or the other very early on, but as it came down to the wire, everyone agreed that it was going to be a tie with up to a month of wrangling and jockeying for position before a government would be formed.

And then, rather extraordinarily for everyone who hadn't read my blog, the Conservatives crushed Labour and won an outright majority.

Why do I think people who read my blog wouldn't have been shocked by this news?  Simply because I've talked extensively in the past about the polls and how thoroughly unreliable they are.

These polls were recently discussed in an interesting article, which I'll leave you with - and I encourage you to search through my blog and find my posts on polls:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/general-election-2015/politics-blog/11695816/Why-did-the-polls-get-it-wrong-at-the-general-election-Because-they-lied.html

Best,

Atlas

Road Rage - A Life Hack From A Mind Reader

I've seen countless road rage videos pop up on various online news outlets.  Without fail, some fool-in-a-hurry ends up bobbing and weaving dangerously through traffic, sometimes causing accidents, sometimes ending up in confrontations with people who have been endangered by the thoughtless stupidity of the buffoon behind the wheel.

Having been a driver for over twenty years now, I am rarely surprised that these videos tend to do well.  All of us have at one time or another been frustrated by the inane actions of these oblivious maniacs, and the appeal of watching a video in which they instantly receive their comeuppance is tantalizing.

How many of us, doing the speed limit, have watched in frustration as a vehicle cuts out from immediately behind ours and then subsequently haphazardly bobs and weaves, speeding dangerously through traffic, only to end up two or three stop lights later being only one or two car lengths ahead of us?

What is the point of this lunacy?  

What do these drivers gain?  

Very little.

Studies have shown that in normal traffic, a driver who speeds and weaves through traffic gains something like 40 seconds overall.

That's it.

There is also a human element to the problem.  These people gain very little in the way of time, but they cause a great deal in the way of negative emotions.  In the same way that people dislike seeing someone cut into a queue ahead of them, people who are obeying the rules of the road become outraged when they see someone arbitrarily break the etiquette that both makes us civilized and keeps us safe.

In a fit of pique, they chase these people down and begin confrontations in which they inevitably further upset themselves - largely because they've abandoned their civilized roots and find themselves becoming as barbarous as the person they despised.

You've heard the phrase 'Never argue with an idiot - they'll drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.'  That's what happens:

You get up next to the guy in the car and begin to ask him what his 'deal' is.  He bristles and asks you what your 'deal' is.  You try to explain your 'deal', only to discover that the guy in the car didn't really care what your 'deal' was, and he wasn't asking to be polite either.  Stronger and stronger language is used, and either the light goes green and the bad driving recommences - this time on the parts of both parties (infuriating the drivers behind you) - or someone gets out of their car.  If this happens, then things really get bad and the offended driver now realizes that this meathead he was chastising believes he should solve this argument not with logic and reason, but with brute force.

Road rage, huh?  You just can't win.

So, having seen a number of pretentiously labelled 'Life Hacks' online, I've decided to share one of my own.  My method of dealing with these bad drivers.

When considering bad drivers, let's look at the facts:

• These people are in a hurry and so value their time above yours and safety in general.
• When you confront them, you are likely to take simmering resentment and turn it into boiling fury.
• Typically either belligerent in nature or generally aloof to your concerns, they will not see the error of their ways and you will not get an apology from them.
• Their inherent volatility suggests that the situation is likely to escalate beyond your control.

With these facts in mind, what is needed is a solution which is both subtle and elegant, and which (solely to be ironic) violates a small measure of another aspect of the broader implied social contract that they've just broken.  

So what do we do?  We use this broadly implied social contract to their disadvantage, and take advantage of the fact that as humans, we generally expect others to be honest with us.

My 'Life Hack' is this (use at your own peril and discretion, I take no responsibility for what subsequently happens) :

Wait until you have a chance to pull up next to these people - don't follow them, it will usually happen naturally on its own.  Roll down your window, and with a smile and wave, get their attention and ask them to roll down theirs.  Look solicitous and concerned for them.  And when they've responded and you have the chance to address them, simply say 'I'm sorry to tell you this, but your car is dropping tons of radiator fluid'.  They will check their instruments, become worried, and thank you for telling them.  The light then changes and you drive away while they pull over.

Consider this: 

• There is no bitter recrimination that leads to an acrimonious dispute.  
• There is no arguing that leads to an even greater sense of resentment on your part.
• The dangerous driver - keen on gaining time - now loses it as he pulls over to examine his vehicle.
• The dangerous driver also has a shift of expectations as regards his schedule - a moment ago, he was trying to get somewhere quickly, but now, those plans are in the bin because his vehicle has failed him.  This adjustment of attitude will help him subsequently see his schedule with more flexibility.
• The driver is now worried about the costs of fixing the vehicle.
• The driver will be relieved that the vehicle is okay and will consider the advice of the person who warned him an honest mistake.  I mean, why would anyone pull them over and tell them a random lie - it must have been some other car they saw leaking fluid.
• You will be long gone, and out of the way of a potential confrontation.

So there we have it!  

My 'Life Hack' for road rage.  Now, I don't condone road raging in the slightest.  But I know that whether I approve of it or not, it will still happen and terrible things will come as a result.  

If you must do it, at least do it in a way that shows class, style, and sophistication - and avoids a dangerous confrontation. 

Better yet, learn to take a breath and let things go.  

Best,

Atlas

  

Atlas Brookings Nottingham Magician and Mind Reader

That's right, I've completed the international move and am now finally starting to feel a bit more settled - and that means I have time to post on the old blog once more!

It has been a strange transition, moving to the UK was not an easy feat.  Things are very different here, but overall, that is not a bad thing.  Over the last year or so, we've moved house, and I've started performing all over the UK.  One thing that I find a bit odd is that while I perform feats of mind reading, I have to advertise myself as a magician in Nottingham and the surrounding areas (Derbyshire, Lincolnshire, Yorkshire, etc.) as people just know they are looking for entertainment and never think to Google a mind reader.

That fact has made me think a bit about HOW people tend to think.  Mind reading is a bit of a unique performance area and as such it rarely occurs to people seeking entertainment.  They love it once they've experienced it, but most people don't set out searching for it.

They tend to stick with things they know.

This phenomenon is seen all over people's lives - three routes may take you to the same place, but you tend to only drive the one.  A menu displaying varied and succulent dishes can be presented at the restaurant, but we seek only the dish we know we like.

And people are the same when around other people.  We play it safe - we all know that the nail that sticks up gets hammered down and so we accept 'groupthink' rather than plan our own paths.  Social psychologists have long theorized that humans as a species were not successful until they formed groups.  According to this theory, groups helped to ensure the safety and survival of the individual, and thus, on an instinctive level, most people tend to feel the safest when they follow the group.

This is a big reason why politicians seek out celebrity endorsements as the 'Halo Effect' of the celebrity is seen to transfer to them.  Indeed, politicians also constantly tubthump over polls that are favorable to them and their situation:  If they can steer you away from your own questions and instead guide the conversation toward how others are voting, then, due to social psychology, the odds are better than 50-50 that you will vote with the group.

As an American abroad, I have no vote in politics here in the UK.  But I watch it with fascination, partially because it is so different to what I am used to.  Recently, Scotland voted to remain a part of the UK.  The group that wanted independence from the United Kingdom was called the SNP, or Scottish Nationalist Party.

In the run up to the referendum, the SNP based the economic welfare of the new independent nation of Scotland on the oil industry and their projections for their economy were created upon the basis that oil would trade for $112 per barrel.  The SNP lost the referendum, and only four months later, Saudia Arabia's oil production decisions have forced the price of oil down below $50 a barrel.

Interested to see what the SNP had to say about this (the North Sea Oil Industry is now begging the government for help), I took to Twitter to have a look at Nicola Sturgeon's (the new head of the SNP) posts.

I could see no acknowledgement on her part that the SNP had got their projections so wildly wrong.  Instead, I saw numerous 'Halo Effect' posts regarding celebrities alongside posts telling people how well the SNP was doing in the polls.  Here are a few screen grabs:

Now, I want to make clear that I'm not picking on Nicola Sturgeon or the SNP, but my point is this: four months ago, they were insistent that Scotland was better off outside the UK, and made projections and promises to an electorate that, if the vote had gone the other way, could have crippled an entire country.  Real people losing jobs, losing homes, facing desperation, hunger and plight.

Disaster.

A critical thinker might subsequently question the credibility of this group of politicians.

But they don't want to talk about how they got it so wrong - and only FOUR months ago too. That's exactly why they are doing all they can at the moment to shut down your critical faculties by telling you what the polls say the group is going to do.

It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Now, as I said, I'm not particularly anti-SNP, I'm anti-groupthink and anti-manipulation - which is why politicians seem to so often crop up in this blog (in fact, next week, we'll look at a recent episode from the Conservative party).

I guess my point is that groupthink is a concept that is outmoded.  Humans are now the dominant species on the planet, and this need to follow the group is anachronistic and has led to some of the greatest atrocities in history.

People like the Dalai Lama, Martin Luther King, Jr. and Ghandi said 'NO' to groupthink and challenged the status quo.

Critical thinking builds the future.  It sees through falsehood, self-serving agendas, and manipulation.

It gives you freedom.

Best,

Atlas

Forewarned, But Not Necessarily Forearmed

My friends, let me begin by apologizing for not posting for the last few weeks.  I've released another book in the intervening weeks and was pushed to meet that deadline.  In addition to this, the main water line to our house broke underneath the concrete slab and we've spent the last few days moving everything out and repairing the damage.  It was ugly, but I am beginning to find more time.

Now, anyone who has been following this blog has noticed that over the last few weeks, we've addressed and examined how the words a person chooses to employ can effect what others believe and perceive.

I've found a video that I think illustrates this point perfectly.  I don't necessary have an opinion on the lecturer's content, though I find him engaging and think he puts his case admirably. 

What I'd particularly like to call your attention to occurs at the following timestamps on the video.

Begin at 1:53 into the video and watch until 2:56 - you will see that the lecturer presents a challenge to his audience.  

If you then skip forward to 18:15 and watch until 19:33, you will be able to take the test he intimates that he will administer.

I'd just like to ask that you will do me a small favor - once you've taken the test (and if you've found the link to this blog post through Facebook) please click like on the link so that I have some idea how many of you failed the test.  

I'll report back next week on my findings, as well as break down what happened and why.

And now, here is the video:

Best,

Atlas

More.

Most people never get to a place in their lives where they think about saving for their retirement.

Part of the reason for this is that people are never really sure how much money they will need for themselves in their old age and so they find it difficult to know exactly how much they should try and save. People also naturally feel like there is more time to build enough savings than there really is.

Due to a lack of savings, some people wonder if they will ever be able to retire.

Take a moment and think about this.

Are you still thinking?

I bet you were thinking about yourself and how the above statements applied to you!

In fact, I'd bet you started thinking about your own retirement situation as early as the first sentence of this post.

Why?

It is because of the words that I chose to use. I showed you last week that words mattered. This week, I thought I'd show you another way in which the words we use make a difference.

When someone communicates a message that is unspecific, a listener's mind tends to clarify the message FOR the speaker. It does this by making assumptions about the generalized, non-specific portions of the message that has been expressed – and it tends to do that from the personal perspective.

Let's look again at the first sentence of this post. When the term “most people” was used, your brain quietly thought “HEY! I'm most people! This might apply to me.”

Then when it encountered the idea of “a place in their lives”, that was also sufficiently vague and your mind began to contemplate that idea in a context of your personal situation. From there on out, every subsequent sentence was sufficiently vague that your mind filled in the blanks in a way that the ideas were about you exclusively.

And yet, I never specifically said a word about you or your situation.

I've just demonstrated another simple way of controlling a person's thoughts, but doing so in a way that seems quite innocuous and harmless. And it uses only words.

Sales and marketing gurus know this technique and use it all the time. And so do journalists and politicians.

In fact, this technique can make urgent messages for those stubborn people in our lives palatable, resulting in real and meaningful change.

Imagine that I was a friend of yours and I wanted to give you some important warnings about your need to save for your future. If I'd directly said to you:

“Look my friend, I am concerned that you won't have enough money for your retirement because you aren't making it a priority, you aren't saving any money, and I don't think you ever will until it is too close to too late for you. Then, by that time, you'll never be able to retire.”

The above is essentially the same message, but because it was about you and it came from an external source, it is very likely to be rejected. It won't pass the defensive structure of self-perception erected over the years by your conscious mind. You'd dismiss me entirely.

The very best way (and trust me, I have EXTENSIVE knowledge of this) to get someone to do or not do something is to create the illusion for them that their decision in the matter was entirely independent both in conception and execution.

So, how is this done?

By the use of nonspecific, general terms. Be confident that if you want a message to be personalized by an audience, you must master the art of sounding precise while the opposite is, in fact, true.

For example, if I were trying to sell you an alarm system, I would be unspecific in the following way:

“Countless lives have been lost due to preventable emergencies – there are a lot of threats out there and in society today, the smart ones protect themselves.”

It sounds specific, doesn't it? But in all reality, I have given no real data, I haven't clarified what I mean by the word 'threat' (instead, your mind is busy conjuring up what you consider a threat and feeling anxious about those terrible fantasies) and I imply that this alarm system is in the homes of everyone who is 'smart' – a demographic that we'd all like to belong to.

Now, note – I have not said a single word about you or your personal situation. But you are now terrified for yourself and your family and you also consider yourself to be smart, all of which means that you'll be wanting to buy this alarm system from me in the next few minutes. Especially if my pitch continues to employ these non-specific nouns and verbs.

The best sales pitch is one that is personalized, and the best way to personalize a message is to let you do it for me.

I could go on, but I think the point has been made.

Watch the sales pitches made to you by others, and, if you need to really communicate something important to a loved one...be careful of the words you choose.

Best,

Atlas

P.S.  I wanted to call this post "You're So Vain", but I couldn't because then you would have thought the post was about you...from the start and would have defeated what I was trying to demonstrate.  So, if you've read this far, rename the post for me in your mind!

Vanderbilt and Scott v. Rockefeller

In the 1870's, after John D. Rockefeller's formation of Standard Oil, Cornelius Vanderbilt and Thomas Scott colluded together in an attempt to get Rockefeller to pay a much higher rate if he was to ship his product using their railroads.

Rockefeller controlled the oil, but he couldn't reach his customers without using either Thomas's Pennsylvania Railroad or Vanderbilt's New York Central and Hudson River Railroad.  

For years, Rockefeller had successfully played Vanderbilt and Thomas against each other as competitors, driving his own shipping rates lower and lower.  But in a search for a competitive advantage, the two combined forces and agreed a standard rate.  In today's marketplace, this is known as 'price fixing' and is illegal.

But it wasn't in those days.

Rockefeller was stuck.

It bears mentioning that at this point in time, Vanderbilt and Scott were among the richest, most powerful men of their day.  And while Rockefeller was the undisputed king of his industry, he wasn't yet the titan that history remembers him as.  

But he was a shrewd negotiator.  He had proven that over the years through countless business transactions with the railroads.

So, faced with a rate that was nearly triple what he was used to paying, what did Rockefeller do?

He once again deployed the negotiation skills that made him so formidable.

On the face of it, Rockefeller came from a place of weakness - Rockefeller needed the railroads to facilitate the distribution of his product. 

Vanderbilt and Scott were in the stronger position - colluding together, they absolutely controlled the transportation routes. 

Rockefeller appeared to be at the mercy of these two legends.

And then he found a way to strengthen his position.

He realized that the oil that was being transported through his refineries in pipes could just as easily be transported across the country in the same manner.  He would build a pipeline and bypass the railroads altogether.  Within a decade, he brought both railroads to their knees.

So what does this have to do with you?

Well, I've promised for a while now that we would have a discourse on negotiation, and we will be looking over the topic for the next few weeks.

Whether you like it or not, you will have to negotiate for goods and services on countless occasions throughout your lifetime.  If you are good at it, times will be easier than if you are not.

I'm not suggesting that you channel Rockefeller and bring the other party to the brink of doom, but you ought to realize that not everyone you interact with is honest and seeking a win-win arrangement.

Over the coming posts, we will go into more detail, but for now, it is important that you realize that negotiations happen in a number of stages:

First, there is preparation.  Every negotiation is prepared for by assessing your side's strengths and weaknesses, similarly assessing your opponent, and determining just what it is that you'd like to accomplish.

Next, there are the early rounds of the actual negotiation process.  These are about undermining your opponent's position by questioning the facts that they present, ferreting out those which they withhold, challenging the logic by which they arrived at their conclusions, and raising issues which they are unprepared to address - all done whilst simultaneously strengthening your own position.

Finally, you reach across the aisle and reconcile with them.  This is often the hardest part, as they will not have enjoyed having their position questioned.  But remember, they are at the table because they need you, just as you need them.  Reconciliation is not as difficult as you may initially believe.

Over the next three weeks, we will examine each stage of the process.  

I think you'll find that when you add this knowledge to what you've already learned about body language, you will be a force to be reckoned with in any negotiation.

And now, a bit of fun: